Chaos...

The YogaWorks Teacher Training starts this week, and three years after inheriting all of my Grandmothers notions I have decided to "organize" everything out of their plastic containers and into a lovely "marthaesque" presentation.  If it ever actually gets to that point I will definitely post a photo, but don't hold your breath.  Most people have a bit of a sewing kit, or maybe even a sewing box, I have a box for ribbons, another one for zippers (which by the way some of them date back to 1960),  a tackle box full of buttons, and apparently enough pink thread to fill a quart jar.   Each color gets its own jar and as you can see I need more jars.  

This is of course not the only project I have some how decided must be started and finished this week so why am I doing this?  I know I am not alone in this madness, because I have plenty of friends who confess the same behavior.  I used to wonder if it is related to attachment, but what I think it is really about is slowing down process.  When I am facing a big production in my life where the process is greatly out of my hands, I feel like I need a practice round.  Can I actually handle facilitating and participating in a six month training that will certainly impact my relationship with yoga and teaching forever?  Hmm, Maybe I could practice by sorting through this tread that means so much to me, organizing buttons that were carefully chosen, categorizing zippers that are older than me, and oiling and sharpening scissors that had a longer and possibly more honest relationship with my grandmother than I did.  I never tell my scissors I'm just fine when I'm not. 

yes, I could do this.  I might even throw some things away that I thought were meaningful, but on closer inspection, it was just stretchy lace polyester seam binding.  

I want to get on my mat, and change my perspective about what I think I know, rearrange my tools and appreciate them in a new light.  I want to get rid of what I don't need, and find treasures that were always right in front of me.  I'm still a ball of nerves, but this little bit of madness has helped me see the forest from the trees, and I am beginning to understand what I am afraid of, and how unnecessary that fear is because this is all just practice!!!